We are in search for happiness for the most part of our lives. It’s almost within arm’s reach, but just not quite. As irritation takes over our days, sleeping off anxiety becomes impossible. We toss and turn restlessly and wake up dead tired – not at all ready for the next day. Tiny setbacks take colossal proportions of our lives and even the corrupting self-pity can lurk behind the pillow.
So what is happiness from a sensitive sleeper’s point of view? Let’s first think about another word to describe happiness. What would that be for you? For me it’s peace. Probably not world peace but just peace inside me. When I am not searching, over-analysing or criticising myself or my life in general, I tend to accept everything as is. And as I enter this serene state, life’s small wonders bring me endless joy. I smile at day and sleep at night. So how do we get there, and more importantly, how do we stay there?
A couple of years ago I made a list of wise sentences that seemed relevant for my inner peace. I have been checking this list every now and then, tweaking it a bit here and there and even grading my success. It’s great to notice a correlation between my progress and peace as in my case the rewards are paid at night. Peace = Happiness = Sleep.
These 13 points can give a starting point for you, even thought a truly self-made list is always the best.
1. Give up being right. Unnecessary arguments are not worth the consequences. Sometimes just “leaving it” is the wisest move.
2. Give up rushing. Many issues resolve naturally – on their own - if you just give them some time. We don’t get brownie points for answering every email, FB message, problem, call or request right this second. Prioritize.
3. Give up pleasing. If people don’t like/accept/love you as you are, let them go and focus on people to whom you are enough.
4. Give up fears. Instead of avoiding unpleasant situations or people, face them. In fact, do exactly the things that scare you. Every Single Day.
5. Give up bad manners. You can’t take back rotten words. Behave in such a manner that you can look in the mirror the next day.
6. Give up guilt. What happened, happened. We can’t fix the past, only the present.
7. Give up negativity. Believe it or not – this is your decision and darkness brings nothing other than misery –> to you. Also, give up negative people.
8. Give up perfectionism. 80% of time 80% perfect is enough. Trying to be perfect drives people insane. So what if my life is a bit messy, it’s MY life.
9. Give up boredom. We are not happy when we do “nothing” and holiday every month but when we are doing something meaningful and inspiring. Find your call.
10. Give up old grudges. We all make mistakes. Letting go of anger and resentment is liberating. Practising forgiveness makes us wiser and warmer human beings.
11. Give up worries. Worrying is a energy guzzler. Concentrate your focus on issues you can resolve (then do it) and let the rest get resolved by others.
12. Give up control. The only thing we can control is our own attitude and choices. If we accept this fact we can find peace regardless of the turbulence around us.
13. Give up forcing. Firstly, don’t force yourself to be something you are not. Secondly, don’t expect others to be something they are not. Thirdly, don’t force things to happen which are not meant to happen.
It’ s a lot of giving up but it is amazing how many bad habits we collect during our lives. Can you identify something you could/should give up?